A long career as a writer and creative director in advertising has lent Sam the unique ability to justify lying about everything. His international and national reputation for creative excellence is marred only by his propensity for plagiarism.

Hundreds of awards have been thrust at Sam but he still refuses to go away. His habit of carrying his Clios and Cannes Lions in his pants pockets is unfortunate, at best. And when no one asks about the bulges, he offers to pay the check and pulls out a London International award saying, “Oh, look at that. How embarrassing.”

After a long career in acting and a short career in stand-up, Sam has come up with the mistaken notion that he knows something about the world of entertainment. His son has been particularly put off by Sam’s shouting, “Curtain in five!” when he wants to leave the house. Not so curiously, his son has never introduced him to any of his friends, often claiming orphanage.

His students, there to learn about writing and performing comedy, graciously put up with his droning on about the celebrities he’s worked with, all of the stories end up with an entirely fictional dinner with Sting. He indeed has met Sting once, having had his grammar corrected by the man in front of a soundstage of laughing teamsters.

The photo below is of Sam hoping someone is taking his picture.